A tweet from Angela Garcia inviting me to comment on her blog post came through this morning. She asked: @JoannaPoppink "What would u advice a girl who is struggling to over come an eating disorder? Let me know in the comments."The quotes she included belowe her post go the point. They speak of rising through and beyond countless experiences of failure.*
People with eating disorders identify with what they experience as insurmountable obstacles and continual failure. So did I when I was bulimic. Once you understand the reason for these disheartening and frustrating experiences you can stop being harsh with yourself and go for what really helps you.
My advice is, whatever is going on in your life, whatever stage you are in terms of education, career, relationships, and find ways to grow. Wherever you are weak, put yourself in a position to be with teachers, role models, guides, educational programs to strengthen what is weak and make you stronger and more competent in this world.
When an eating disorder begins, for whatever reason, normal human development stops. You don't need to mature in certain areas because the eating disorder is taking care of you. When you try to stop the eating disorder you are emotionally and perhaps cognitively at the age where you began that eating disorder. You don't know how to care for yourself as an adult in a world of adult challenges.
You need to grow, develop and mature in those areas. If you don't, the eating disorder will be irresistible because it promises to care for you by dulling your anxiety and keep you unaware of your genuine challenges.
Find ways to take yourself gently and lovingly by the hand and bring yourself to the learning and development opportunities you need. Let responsible and trustworthy adults who are more developed than you at this stage, help you.
* (quotes from Angela's post)
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. ~Winston Churchill
In order to succeed you must fail, so that you know what not to do the next time. ~Anthony J. D'Angelo
Failure is an event, never a person. ~William D. Brown
Supposing you have tried and failed again and again. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down. ~Mary Pickford
Failure sometimes enlarges the spirit. You have to fall back upon humanity and God. ~Charles Horton Cooley
Psalm 46:1“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.”
Psalm 27:1 “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”
Isaiah 40:28-31 “Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”
But respect yourself most of all. ~Unknown