In eating disorder recovery you experience times of wild emotions. You feel that you are raw, out of control and so very disheartened about your lot in life. Yet, being loyal to yourself and your experience is vital and reassuring to your recovery. What does being loyal to your experience look like?
Take a long and lingering look at the photo.* The mountain remains present during turbulent conditions. The mountain is solid and permanent, like the core of you. The storms come and go, like your emotions. The mountain remains present for all conditions, just as you can remain present for all that you experience. The mountain is loyal to itself. You can be loyal to yourself.
You have many ways to manifest loyalty.The core of your effort is to be steadfast as you go through what you go through with respect for your experience no matter what it is.
A vital point is that we can give ourselves compassion, caring, respect and loyalty for our experience without acting out our feelings.
So if we are mad, glad, sad, frightened, outraged, lost and confused we acknowledge that these feelings did not come out of the blue. They mean something to us and give us clues about ourselves that are valuable for growth and development. We remain loyal to ourselves in that way.
We also are loyal to ourselves by restraining our actions.
- Mad - don't hit.
- Glad - don't go over the top in spending energy or resources.
- Sad - don't isolate.
- Frightened - don't ignore signals and don't do anything destructive.
- Outraged - don't let self righteousness destroy what you value.
- Lost and confused - don't surrender your power to others.
Be loyal to your experience so you can think it through and make healthy, sane and caring decisions for action. Get to know the mountain of solidity in your core.
*Lhotse as seen from the climb up to Chhukung Ri. Taken by Jamie O'Shaughnessy October 4, 2003 and released into the public domain.