Portia de Rossi is helping countless people to get a more accurate window into the agonies of living with anorexia.
Unreality Shouts is running an article describing part of an interview with Portia. She raises the important issue of secrets.
“I really had the eating disorder because I started dieting when I was 12 and because of a lifetime of chronic dieting. But it sure didn’t help that I was hiding who I was because who I really was was completely unacceptable, I mean there were no lesbian actresses in the history of acting, I had no real gay role models, it was a very tough time.”
I hope my readers understand that sexual orientation does not cause eating disorders. Portia speaks about her hidden lesbian nature and how that contributed to her anorexia. It was not her natural sexual leanings but her secret that created unbearable internal pressure on her.
Sexual identity does not cause an eating disorder. Rather, it is an overwhelming secret of any kind that must be guarded at all costs, which contributes to developing an eating disorder. Portia believed, and perhaps rightly in her environment at the time, that she needed to keep her natural sexuality thoroughly hidden. Maintaining this secret created horrific emotional and psychological pressure on her.
Be wary of your secrets. They are dangerous even, perhaps especially, if you succeed in maintaining them. They put terrible pressure on your psyche and distort your normal and healthy psychological equilibrium.
Love, treatment and freeing herself of crippling secrets all play a major role in recovery. I'm glad Portia has found her way. I hope others find their way to healing and freedom too.
Do you believe protecting your your secrets is dangerous to you? Do you believe you are protecting yourself by keeping secrets? What is the price you pay for keeping part of your natural self hidden from others? Answering these questions can help you in your eating disorder recovery. Please share in the comments.