The "ask" is that you take care of yourself. Set your goals for what is best for you. Don't skip yourself by asking for something you think will indirectly give you what you want, like asking for someone to change.
Ask for what you want and go for it. You don't have to knock on your mother's door or enter your house. You have to enter your own interior home and keep it as you wish. You need to furnish your mind and heart with what you need.
If this feels like a step that is too big for you to take, then journal about it, talk to your therapist about it, meditate on it. This is the only task we really have that frees us from domination and allow us to builds our authentic lives.
It may be easier to repeat patterns, but that only gets you what you continually get. Isn't it time for something new?
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