I am sorry you are suffering. This is such a hard time for you. I only hope that your pain pushes you to a new understanding and appreciation of youself in many ways - body, spirit and mind.
That may be what you need to come out of this crisis and face the world with more self esteem,
confidence and realistic approach to what you need to thrive.
You raise many issues in your post. I'll address one: body.
Recently I've discovered, been using and recommending a book: To Quiet Inflammation, by Kathy Abascal. It's the best and most clearly written guide to understanding how your body works and relates to stress and nourishment.
Since your eating and desire to eat is in a bit of a chaotic state now, this might be a terrific read for you ....and your husband too.
You have emotional and psychological issues to deal with, of course. But, you don't know now how many would clear up or be less intense if you nourished your body properly. When you read what Abascal has to say you'll understand what I'm talking about.
It's not just about having a healthy body that runs or sleeps or looks good or doesn't have a serious illness. It's about fatigue, sadness, quick temper, frustration, weakness, memory loss, mental sharpness, optimism and so much more.
I recommend this book highly. Not only do I suggest you read it. I suggest you incorporate it into your daily routine and read about three pages every night before you go to sleep. And when you finish the book, start again with three pages every night before you go to sleep.
That routine helps you learn how even seeminly little things can make a huge difference in how you feel and think as well as the health state of your body.
Once that is clear you are much better equipped to deal with remaining psychological issues.
If you do this, please let us know about your experience.
I wish you every success, Jackie.
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