Thank you Jackie & Joanna
Joanna, I think my tears in the car were sheer relief. Relief that after reading your blog article and being reconnected with that sense of inner energy, that I had found "her" again, as I had been starting to worry a little that I wasn't going to be able to do it, knowing full well, that if I don't dig myself out of this relapse then I've got to put myself back into therapy. Whilst on one hand I would love it (I love the depth and the awareness and self development that it produces), my gut feeling is that I don't want to, I don't want to ask for that help unless I truly need it, because I see where I'm at, and where I've been in recent months, as being sort of a continuation of the work in therapy, the part where I have to learn from my experiences, what kind of things tip me back into ED ways, and how to get myself back out of there are back into recovery. And I do believe that once I feel comfortable that I can do that for myself, that I probably will go back into therapy, to carry on working on my self development and exploring my inner self further.
Jackie, I can totally identify with what you say about getting overwhelmed it's something I experience too, but I agree with Joanna's advice about breaking things down into smaller tasks - I have learned to use the phrase "just commit one hour of your time to it, that's all" to get started on things that seem too overwhelming to face doing - it really works for me, if you try it I hope it does for you too!