meeting my needs, changing routines....moving in a different direction....I am happy to say that FINALLY, my new meds are working, my mind is clearing, my depression and anxiety is lifting. SADLY, I have gained a ton of weight over the past 8 months experimenting with meds and I am in a quandry trying to figure out how to get rid of it safely, and without being harsh and demanding on myself.
That being said, I am trying something new. I went to my boss today and really opened up and poured out my heart over my job stress and anxiety...how I feel "frozen" at work and non-productive. She was very understanding. (whew!)....we have come up with a plan for me to work my days guided by how I feel. I may work 6 hours, I may work 8. She offered to give me a few weeks off which, unfortunately, I cannot afford right now.
It felt good to be able to speak with her frankly and to get from her what I needed, and still keep my job. Knowing that I am not having to dedicate myself to 8 hours a day reduces my anxiety quite a bit.
I don't think this will be the job for me in the long run. I am working on a book project (a series of children's books), and I hope to turn the direction of my career path 180 degrees.
I want to say that this has been my favorite blog, Joanna. It really spoke to me in ways that I needed to be spoken to.
I want to get off my dead end street...my emotional dead end street, and my career dead end street!