How wonderful that all the parts are working together to take care of you Joanna! I think I would choose the writing class too.
I'm trying to adjust my perspective.
Where I live we are currently having a blizzard. My town has the dangerous wind chill, but little snow. We didn't have school today. I've been busy preparing materials for my medical leave. I had a few things that I couldn't finalize because I needed to make a few more photocopies. I planned on doing that at work tomorrow.
They just announced that my school will be closed again tomorrow. Tomorrow was my last day at work. The flight which takes me to my surgery is supposed to leave at 6am on Thursday morning. I can't drop six weeks worth of lessons and materials off. I can't finish what I need to get done and I have to leave things unorganized on my desk until I return from surgery.
I could ask someone else, but they wouldn't know what to do with the items I left in my office. It wouldn't be the way I want it to be.
This seems like a big deal, but it's not. That's what I am trying to tell myself. It's a shift in thinking. It's just the way life is.
Initially, I felt like crying. I felt like I was going to be punished (my personal theme) but then I started to think about it differently. This is beyond my control. I cannot control the weather. I cannot control the administration. I cannot control the airport. I have no magical powers. It is what it is.
I don't like this, but I need to find the benefits. Here's my pep talk: I won't be exposed to the germs of others. I don't have to worry about picking up a virus before my surgery. I don't have to rush to get everything done tomorrow. I have more time to pack. I have more time with my kids before I leave. I have time to shave my legs.
My body is starting to relax. I typically worry when this happens because you can be certain that important things are escaping my mind, but maybe they are supposed to. Maybe I am just supposed to accept this. Maybe I can let it go for tonight. Maybe I can check out and it will be okay. I'll send an email to my administrator after I sleep on all this.
If the plane can't take me to surgery, it will another day. Maybe next week. I can do this. I can be okay with uncertainty. I can slow down and stop punishing myself. I can tell other people what my plan is because my plan is what takes care of me.
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