Aww, thank you for your kind words Laura!
I found myself in recovery quite out of the blue a couple of weeks after we'd agreed to get divorced, it wasn't a conscious effort at all. It made me realise how stressful it has been, being in that relationship over the last 2-3 years. I knew I'd relapsed and always believed that it was because I'd taken on too much workload-wise and was constantly struggling to met deadlines, I believed that when that eased I'd just flip back into recovery and I was shocked and disappointed when it didn't happen and no amount of trying could get me back into recovery properly.
In hindsight I'd been walking on eggshells with my ex for so long, it had just become the norm, as had grazing all day long to abate the anxiety ..it's only now that I'm out of the situation, that I realise just how much it impacted me.