I can really relate to the things you said above, but as you know already our mothers seem to have quite a lot of similar attributes
I am doing a lot better thesedays at not feeling obliged to put others' needs ahead of my own. I've actually found it really liberating and great for building my self worth to see those that never expected me to, (it was just me feeling like I should and like our relationship depended on it) to like me and care about me just the same. Of course there are the ones that did have those expectaions who have either fallen by the wayside (and rightly so), or had to look at themselves a little and redress their own expectations.
With certain people, like my mother, it has been a long and difficult road, but we are getting there now. I don't regret it for one moment.
I'm proud of you for taking care of yourself ahead of your friend's needs - lets hope this is just the beginning of things to come for you Tracy xx